Koda- The Dog We Had for Five Days and What We Learned From Him

For about a month we had been thinking about getting a dog for our family. Bret wanted a running partner and I wanted a walking buddy. We both agree that every child should grow up with a dog and we wanted a dog to be the newest addition to the family. Last week we went to a couple shelters and looked at dogs, we werent really impressed by many. We looked online and saw a yellow lab that we thought was pretty cute. We went Saturday to check him out. His name was Jake, a massive 83 pounds 11 month old yellow lab. He had the cutest face and lots of energy. We took him out to the exercise yard and he played tug and pull with Bret. The girls ran around and he didnt really seem to care much about them. We went home and talked about it, we decided to go back and get Jake and bring him to his forever home. When we got there they told us there was someone who was supposed to bring their dog in for a dog meet dog, and to wait to see if they showed up. They didnt, and we adopted him. We were committed to this guy. I felt like I had just adopted a new child into my family. He was all we wanted. We knew he was big, untrained, a puppy and happy. We renamed him Koda on account of the BFF's son's name being Jake.

I took the girls with me to the store to get food, dishes, a leash and some toys. Oh, and carpet cleaner, since they said he wasnt house trained. We came home and we all felt so happy that we had him here. The girls gave him their toys and he loved them. He loved tug and pull the most, and we played that with him all the time we werent doing something else.

That night as Bret and I were getting ready for bed, a really terrible awful feeling hit me, hard. It settled in my stomach and I spent the entire night trying not to throw up and wondering if this was the spirit or my nerves. I didnt feel nervous or anxious about having Koda. I was happy and excited. And if I was having other thoughts, its not like me to react this way. Ive felt this way only one other time in my life; when I was trying to decided which high school to go to. I chose Valley and the night I turned in my acceptance letter I got a horrible awful feeling and I knew I had made a bad choice. Two years later I switched schools.

Bret knew something was wrong and we talked about it. He didnt feel great about our decision either. We talked about how we wanted to keep him and how we made a commitment to keep him. But what was so happy and exciting the night before was turning dark and scary. I fought my feelings all day, telling myself its just my nerves and that its okay that we have Koda. We were getting more and more attached to him every minute and we already loved him so much. It seemed too sad to actually think of not having him here.

Sunday night we knew what we had to do and it was painful.

Sometimes we are asked to do things or not do things for a reason. We can ask "Why" all we want, but it doesnt matter. Its like asking why we shouldn't drink coffee or why people are attracted to the same gender or why black men didnt hold the priesthood til later, or why Christ had to suffer so badly for us all. Things are painful in this life. We are tested and tried so that we can learn and be strengthened. I dont know why we couldn't keep Koda, and I asked myself this questions often. I dont know why we felt good about getting him, and then terrible later. I dont know why we couldnt have felt badly about getting him in the first place. Personal revelation can be tough. Its sometimes hard to discern between our emotions and the spirit, since he often speaks to us through feelings. President Harold B. Lee once counseled, “When your heart begins to tell you things that your mind does not, then you are getting the Spirit of the Lord." This was completely our case. I was confused and wanted to know what we should do for real, seriously. So I prayed about it, a lot. "When we petition Heavenly Father in prayer, there are times in which He answers us with the distinct impression that we have not identified the proper course. The answer will come not as one of peace but as a feeling of darkness."
There are good talk about it here and here.

On Thursday night, a nice older couple adopted Koda and took him home. Our house seemed so quiet all of a sudden. We were sad. I was depressed, which is very uncharacteristic for me, for two days. I wanted to wrap my mind around it all, and a good way to do that for me is to write. So I wrote this, and decided I should share it. Maybe one of you needs this counsel as well.



Here are some of the things we loved about Koda:
He was very gentle with the girls.
He loved tug and pull and balls.
He got really excited about his food.
He slept in our room on Bret's side of the bed.
He followed Bret around if he was home, me if Bret wasnt home.
He wouldnt run away when he was off a leash.
He was a terrible running dog. Bret would finish his run and wait to Koda to catch up.
He loved walks.
He didnt want to go outside unless someone else was out there.
He thought the leather couch was his own personal throne.
After he drank water, he always came to give you kisses.
Caylee could put her fingers in his nostrils and he didnt care.
He cheated and tug and pull, badly.
He was adorable.
He didnt beg.
He didnt jump up on people.
He only stole food off the table once (Caylee's snack) even though his head was at table level.
He didnt jump up on the beds.
He was super strong.
He loved our family.

Here are some pictures of our Koda.

We take comfort knowing that we made a good choice and did what we were asked to do. Ill probably never know why we had to give Koda up, but really it doesnt matter why. All that matters is when the spirit tells us something, either in a still small way, or in a giant sickening way, we need to heed and obey. No matter how hard. Im grateful it was our newly adopted lab and not a child, as Abraham almost had to bear, or something like it.
Through this experience my faith was strengthened.